Swimming

I was 4 years old, still living  in New Jersey and it was finally summer! I tagged along as my cousins and siblings went to the public pool, chaperoned by my Uncle Maine. Most of the day is fuzzy in my memory as I try to recall it, but one event stands out as clear as a bell. Standing beside the pool I watched as my uncle jumped in to be closer to the other children who enthusiastically barreled towards the water to get out of the heat. I was shy and quiet as a child and it was my nature to hang back and take everything in before deciding on whether or not to join. So there I was, watching, as everyone else was splashing and playing. My uncle's attention finally settled on me and he asked why I wasn't in the pool. I didn't have the words to tell him that I didn't know how to swim, so I continued to simply stare at him not answering the question. He motioned for me to come closer, and I did. "Jump in Kourtnie!," he said, and I did. Being a child in my family meant we were always taught to obey adults without question. Did he know that I couldn't swim? I don't know. As I sat on the bottom of the pool I looked up noticing that there were several feet separating me and the surface. I waited patiently for strong arms to lift me back into the air because how else would I get all the way up there? When time ticked by and no rescue came, fear slowly started to creep in. And then I tried to take a breath. When I found that I couldn't breathe, I started flailing and struggling. After what seemed like an eternity, someone pulled me from the pool and sat me on the ground as I vomited water, choking and crying for my mom. This was my first experience with water. 

Because of that unfortunate incident at 4 years old, it took me years to get over my paralyzing fear of water. It didn't help that the majority of my family could not swim. My Granny also has a deep-seated fear of water that she no doubt passed along to her children. When it came to the ability to swim, fear ruled us.

I didn't learn to swim until I was 21. My boyfriend at the time spent most of the summer helping me learn different strokes in my apartment complex's pool. It was a very slow, mentally draining process to learn to swim. To this day I have a very healthy fear and respect for any body of water larger than a bathtub. And while I can now swim and splash and play with the best of them, a pool floatie or life jacket is never far from my reach. Just in case.