I'm Living It

Naturally, this being a small island and knowing so many people, I run into friendly faces every day asking how life is. Often in these conversations, knowing that Sky and I were recently wed, friends ask how married life is going. When I tell them not well and that I'm leaving island, they are usually shocked! They want to know why, what's going on, what happened for things to change so suddenly when we seemed so happy? And I'm honest... I tell them I'm leaving my marriage because it's abusive. I know that marriage is a serious undertaking, and I went into it happily and willingly. I never imagined, though, that three weeks in I would be physically abused and put into the situation of choosing between the man I love and my own safety. That was definitely not a part of the happily ever after I had in mind! Once friends know the circumstances of my leaving, most have been very supportive of me, telling me I'm doing the right thing by going. I'm endlessly thankful for all the encouragement and love most people have shown me. Life has been so hard lately and it's the kind words and support being given to me that help me through these sometimes hellish days.

Now on the other hand, I have definitely gotten some responses more along the line of Oh it'll work itself out, Keep trying, Hang in there, Marriage is hard at first but it gets better... And while I agree under normal circumstances, violence against your intimate, married partner seems a deal-breaker no matter the excuse. I think at the end of the day everyone deserves to feel safe, loved, and cherished especially in a marriage where you have promised those virtues to one another. Violently putting your hands on someone is a surefire way to rip those things away and replace them with fear, anxiety, and hurt. Sadly I know, I'm living it.

I look forward to the move, if only to be able to start healing and moving on with my life. I know there are so many exciting, new things to look forward to in Colorado, but the heartbreak and the gravity of this situation is clouding my sunny outlook on things. Only 4 days until I leave island and make a fresh start for myself, and I am alternately excited and terrified, with terror winning out a majority of the time. Universe give me courage and strength please, I need it!

Mr & Mrs Smyth

We said "I do"! Sky and I are officially man and wife! We said our vows, just the two of us, on Hawsknest Beach on March 23, 2012. Our friend Dru preformed the ceremony on that beautiful afternoon. Our friend Yelena Rogers did a wonderful job capturing our special day with gorgeous photographs! We spent the weekend relaxing and enjoying the beauty of our St John. We are currently finalizing our honeymoon plans, to be taken later this year! 

Since we eloped and couldn't have our family and friends join us, we are in the process of planning a huge celebration! We will have a vow renewal and reception next year on our 1st anniversary and we look forward to celebrating with everyone!!! Invites will be sent out in the next couple of months.

Thank you friends and family for all of the love, support, congratulations, and well wishes! We are so happy, so in love, and looking forward to a life full of adventures and joy!

xoxo,

Mr & Mrs Smyth

Household Hang-Ups

I don't like to clean. Actually that's being too nice about it. I hate to clean. I absolutely despise it. I don't mind putting dishes into the dishwasher (which we don't have), I'm fine with doing laundry, occasionally I like to dust, or even mop the floors with a Swiffer, but I HATE cleaning. I'm great at picking up, organizing (when I feel like it), and straightening. I don't want to sound like I never lift a finger. But I don't like scrubbing anything, dirt grosses me out and I'm just going to be honest: I feel like I have better things to do than clean. Sky doesn't like to clean either. And although he is (self admittedly) a slob, I'm totally okay with the fact that he doesn't like to clean any more than I do! My solution to this problem seems simple enough: I'd like to hire a maid. It's not that expensive here, it helps someone else who needs work (and money!) and both Sky and I are free to spend our time doing whatever we like instead of having to clean! AND it fits easily into our monthly budget. Sounds like a no-brainer right? Well wrong! Sky and I disagree on this subject. I think we should hire a maid, he thinks I should get over my hang-ups and clean. This is not to say that Sky or I won't clean, because we both do. In saying that, I have decided that I am over it. I don't mean to sound bitchy, I'm just done arguing about it and I am done doing something I don't want to do. We have been debating about whether to have a maid for almost two years now. And I think it's ridiculous! I got angry last night and said "When I was single and wanted a maid, all I had to do was call and book a maid! But now I have to argue with someone for two years about having a maid! It's RIDICULOUS!". Then I felt bad about throwing the whole "when I was single" thing in his face. But seriously already!!!! I mean he won't even give me a valid reason as to why he doesn't want one. So we're at a stand-off where the house is concerned. I told him very directly in our most recent conversation that I will work, grocery shop, help with the laundry and take care of the other dozens of things that help run a household, very willingly, happily and with a smile. But I am done cleaning. I am putting my foot down (I can do that, right?). If he wants the house clean, then he can do it, or he can let me hire a maid. It's as simple as that. I figure might as well clear the air and be as honest as possible before we make it official. This is something a lot of couples go through, right?  

Getting Married

I have to be honest! I definitely won't be tying the knot until I'm 100% sure but.... some days I can't wait to get married just to have the big party, beautiful dress and amazing food!!!

So Romantic

Today Sky and I won a once in a lifetime prize!! Right after we got engaged I, of course, was obsessed with all things bride and wedding related. I joined The Knot so I could start getting ideas about what we wanted on our wedding day. At the time there was a contest on The Knot website. All you had to do was upload a picture of yourself and your fiancé and tell a little bit about how you met and your engagement story. I thought it seemed like a cute idea so I entered and forgot about it.

Fast forward to today! I received an email saying that Sky and I actually won the contest!! An associate at The Knot told me that we were the runners up, but one of the couples had to drop out so would we like to take their place? I was so excited that I was shaking and barely heard a word that she said!!!!

So our prize? We, along with 13 other couples, are getting married at the Empire State Building on Valentine's Day!!!! It turns out that the only day that you can marry there is on Valentine's Day!!!! And you have to apply and be chosen for it!!!!  We are so excited (can you tell?!!!) and grateful for this. And boy did this good news come at just the right time.

So the rush is on for me to find a dress, a suit for Sky, book accommodations to NYC and choose the 20 people we'd like at the ceremony. I think that last part will be the hardest since we want everyone we know and love to celebrate our day together!! The consolation is that we plan to invite any and everyone up to NYC for the weekend to help us celebrate and party, even if we can't take everyone to the ceremony. And we definitely plan on having a big celebration here in Georgia late next year for those who can't make it.

This really changes all of the plans that we had going for our wedding, but you don't look a gift horse in the mouth! Besides isn't getting married in one of the most amazing cities in the world, in one of the most iconic buildings in history, on the most romantic day ever just a dream come true?! It certainly is for us!!